This Was Bigger Than Us
by A Flicker of Candlelight
Summary: Every glance, every touch, every word that was said and they were few, I cherished.


**OneShot Zutara.**

**Disclaimer**: Avatar and its characters are the property of Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko, therefore I do not own them

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I know I might have been hasty in my decision to do this, but…it had to be done. This constant tension between us was just too hard to ignore and what I was about to do could possibly start another war…..

Between the Avatar and myself.

We were all gathered for the first anniversary of the end of the hundred years war.

All rulers, dignitaries, and nobles were united under one roof to celebrate this historic event. Things were going along great, until the moment she walked through that door. That's when I knew something would happen, and I would be the one to cause it.

Every time we saw each other, Katara's face would change. It wasn't the expression of anger I was used to. It was something...different. When I would see her, her eyes would soften as she would gaze upon me. An unnoticeable smile would make its way to her face. And when she would touch my hand as we would greet each other, I would feel the gentle caress of her fingers as they curled into my palm.

As she spoke, a slight blush would appear as our eyes met every now and then.

It drove me nuts at the fact that there was nothing I could do to have her with me. My principles kept me from doing so. Besides, she was taken by the Avatar.

"Greetings, Fire Lord Zuko." her melodic voice meekly uttered. "It is nice to see you again."

I excused myself from a conversation with a dignitary to face her with a small curl of my lips. But my eyes spoke volumes to her as she stood there…alone.

"Hello…Katara" I uttered quietly as I took her hand in mine and brought it to my lips to kiss it, as any gentlemen should. "It is good to see you too!" I stated as I looked upon her, then around questionably to find Aang not too far off speaking with King Kuei.

In my temporary distraction, Katara took the moment to look at me beneath her lashes, she whispered. "I missed you."

Right then and there, I removed my gaze from Aang to stare wide eyed at her, my mouth agape. Never before had someone been able to pull out emotions from me like Katara. She was a force to be reckoned with, and that's what led me to fall for her.

For a few seconds, I had lost my sense to speak. I just stared at her in disbelief as she continued, quietly murmuring. "I thought about you…everyday since…" I knew what she was talking about at that moment. She need not say more… after all, it seemed that that was where it all began.

That Agni Kai was the pinnacle of the dangers we had faced together. It took a lot out of us physically and emotionally. It sealed our friendship and made it stronger. At the time she and I didn't realize how strong it was, but that moment when she healed me had changed the dynamics of where it was heading.

Her eyes then had said so much. She cared enough for me not to die, but it was what happened later on that showed me that it was more than that.

After she committed herself to the Avatar, something in her had changed. I didn't know when, or how it did but it was 6 months post-war when I knew things were different between us.

I was in the palace in Ba Sing Se to negotiate a treaty when a recess to the proceedings was called. With a chance to find peace and quiet, I made my way into a private tearoom reserved for high officials to have my noon tea. Uncle often urged me to drink it, saying that 'Tea drinking is essential to clear the mind, not to mention your bladder with the right blend, of course.' Often, I would roll my eyes at this, but once I started this ritual, it served me well. So, I implemented it into my grueling schedule as I ruled the fire nation.

When I walked into the tearoom, I heard voices talking quietly. I thought nothing of it since a see-through drape screen separated my side from the other. So I sat myself to drink some tea until the voices I heard rose and a heated discussion escalated. That's when I realized to whom those voices that spoke quietly a few seconds ago belong to. Aang and Katara. I got up quietly from my cushion and was about to walk away to mind my own business when I heard…

"Why do you keep holding us back, Katara? I thought you wanted to be with me? Is it because there's someone else? Is that it?" Aang exclaimed heatedly.

"No, Aang. It's just that…I feel that maybe we rushed into this…relationship thing is all. I realized that maybe things are going a bit too fast now that the war is over. And I think we should just take it slow that's all I'm saying. Be friends and…"

Aang narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists as he questioned. "Do you not love me?"

Katara's eyes widened as she extended her arms to placate him. "Of course I love you, Aang. You know I do!"

"Then why wait Katara? It doesn't make any sense?" He said feeling all of a sudden confused.

"Aang, I just need time to myself to sort things out before we start a relationship. We just ended a war and I…"

Aang interjected. "Katara! I gave you time. Since Ember Island remember? You told me to wait until after the war ended and I certainly waited for your answer. And when you accepted my feelings for you and returned them…You don't know how you made me feel. It was like…everything I had dreamed of came true. I've never wanted anything more than to have you in my life, by my side. I love you Katara! And maybe you might think I'm too young to say this, but….I know for a fact that there will be no other but you in my life." He finished as his eyes shone with unshed tears as he looked upon the girl of his dreams.

Katara's eyes misted over as she looked into Aang's pleading eyes and she resigned herself into his embrace. "Oh Aang, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to worry you like this. I just wanted us to make the right decision about this and not rush it. But if you are so sure about us continuing this…then I am!"

Aang pulled back slightly and shone a bright smile at Katara. "I'm sure you won't regret this, Katara" he said as he gathered her into another hug. Meanwhile, Katara smiled sadly over his shoulder, but as her eyes lifted up, she noticed me through the screen staring at her. Her oceanic blue eyes rounded in shock as it held my own for a moment. But it quickly turned into shame as she removed it to hide her face in the crook of Aang's neck.

All week long during negotiations when I saw her, I saw regret marring her beautiful, delicate features as they gazed upon me. She was like a caged bird, locked away, unable to be free. It pained my heart that such a carefree spirit like Katara could not break away from the fate that was assigned to her. We hardly spoke to one another, but the one time that we did, it was to express how concerned I was for her. Upon her insistence that she was okay, I relented my pursuit to help her.

When I returned to the fire nation all I could think of then was her. She plagued my dreams: day or night. My thoughts revolved so much around her that my relationship with Mai had suffered before we reached the 8th month mark since the end of the war. It became evident that things wouldn't work out so we parted to my surprise on good terms. Luckily, this time I was straightforward with her and she understood.

My yearning for a young woman that I barely interacted with intimately became so strong that I had wondered if the insanity in my family was the cause of it. I was baffled. We were total opposites and yet... so alike. Despite our differences, we related to each other really well. Overtime, I began to put each and every encounter she and I had into perspective. And it made sense, we made sense. But then I would declare it foolish thinking on my part and discarded the notion.

In my ninth month as Fire Lord, after returning from a council meeting, I sat in my study with time on my hands, for once. And in a moment of madness, I decided to write Katara a letter to see how she was. I was not declaring my love for her or anything; just straightforward stuff. Everyone knows I'm not much for words. But it was unlike anything I've ever done especially when it was towards the girl who antagonized me when I first joined the group. But before I changed my mind, I sent it.

Unfortunately, later on I regretted the decision I had made. As I sat on my bed, I sulked and berated myself for my actions. What I was doing was not honorable and inappropriate for a Fire Lord, but…I'm only human. There were things that I just couldn't help. Feeling this way made me irrational at times and following the path of righteousness had always been hard on my part. But was it? Was it right for her to subject herself like this?

I knew when she looked at me that day as she embraced Aang, that staying in the relationship with him was not what she wanted. But what did she want? I never thought to ask.

Two weeks later, to my surprise, I received a reply from her. I sat there…in my study, and stared at the scroll on my desk wondering whether I should open it or not. Back and forth, I went over my options to the point that I had enough and practically tore the parchment apart to read what was in it.

I read what she wrote, and read it again, and again, and again until it was all but memorized. What she said was nothing special as mine wasn't special either, but her closing was what shocked me to the core.

It had said: _"Wishing you were here with me._

_ Love, Katara"_

I thought nothing of it the first time. But the more I read it in its entirety, I knew that that closing statement was off. The whole body of that letter sounded platonic as if she was cautiously watching her step. Every word was carefully thought over, there were no indications of any special meanings in the words she used. It was plain, stiff, almost mechanical, but as I read the closing remarks my eyes blinked as if trying to remove the haze that covered it.

Key words stuck out in my mind. _You, me. Love. _My heart began to beat faster, my breathing began to turn ragged. I shook my head no, denying that this meant something on her part; she probably addressed everyone this way.

But as we met again in the North Pole for the inauguration of the newly restored city a month later, I knew that this was serious.

Done with the meet and greet session, with the Chief's permission, I made my way towards the Spirit Oasis to pay my respects. After what I'd done while here, I felt that I needed the chance to make amends with this place. I had caused so much pain and damage that for a moment the guilt overwhelmed me.

If it was not for my uncle, I didn't know how I could ever show my face in here again.

Despite the fact that it was Zhao that wreaked havoc upon this place, my ambition made me blind to turn my focus on him instead of the Avatar.

I clenched my fists as I approached the pond, and lowered my head dejectedly as I choked out, "I'm sorry" as I stared at the two fish circling in the water. "I'm so sorry" I said as I stood there willing them to hear, hoping that they would reply. I was ready for whatever they would say to me. I needed to do this on behalf of my people.

I knew it wouldn't change the way things had turned out, but… it would be a beginning towards everlasting peace, which I vowed I would work hard to make happen.

But suddenly, I felt a small hand slide delicately over my fisted one, and I lifted my head up in shock and turned to see Katara there, next to me, looking on into the pond. My hand underneath her touch quickly relaxed and our fingers interlocked themselves naturally. My heart fluttered and it never stopped till we went our separate ways.

Words were not needed, only actions. As she stared on, her thumb would occasionally brush the back my hand and a blush would suddenly appear upon her mocha cheeks. Unable to contain my stoic demeanor, I smiled as my eyes looked upon her from the side and she noticed, quickly removing her gaze from mine. We stood there in quiet contemplation enjoying the scenery. After much time had past, we wordlessly parted ways.

Each time we met, it was the same. Every glance, every touch, every word that was said and they were few, I cherished. But when we parted, the need to be near her, to have her, was even greater than I had anticipated. What we felt for each other was surreal.

This was bigger than us. It was bigger than the Avatar. It was destiny.

So, I had made my decision. Today would be the day that I would ask Katara to be mine…consequences be damned.

**A/N: This is a one-shot I came up with on the spur of a moment so I hope you liked it. Reviews are welcomed!**


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